The past two or three weeks have been hellish! For the first time in ten years, Scott had to be hospitalized. Aspiration pneumonia. We admitted him to our local NEW hospital on a Friday afternoon. It is a new hospital - freshly built and lots of nice shiny brochures telling families how wonderfully their sick family member will be treated! BALONEY!
The brochures lie! Big time! I never left his side for two days and two nights! All that great care that we were promised in the shiny handouts never materialized.
Finally, I had enough and threw a hissy fit! (Also known as a Campbell fit or a Williams fit!) We got transfer orders to Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville....but not before we waited for an ambulance for 10 hours! "I'm sorry" they kept saying - "It shouldn't be much longer" we were told.
Vanderbilt did well and we were able to go home Wed AM. Scott is still struggling with the cough that our primary doc says could be around for 3-4 WEEKS! I want to clear my throat and somehow help him feel better - I have tried and it does not work.
As bad as that experience was, it was nothing compared to the events of last week. Nothing compared to this. I have buried my parents, in laws, watched my husband have a heart attack - grieved over my daughter's pain when her first born was diagnosed with Williams Syndrome... Nothing! Nothing! Compares to the horrors of last Wed!
You see, I had no control over those events. As heart breaking and gut turning as they were to me -- it was all out of my control!
Last week, for the first time in 42 years, I made a mistake with Scott's medications. A horrible mistake! An unforgivable mistake! A mistake that could have killed him! His blood pressure plummeted like a rock and I walked into the dining room only to catch him as he took a "header" - face first to the floor. I caught him in my arms and screamed his name - his beautiful green eyes rolled towards me and I pleaded with him not to leave me! I begged God not to take him from me that day!
I got my doc on the phone - and began to shove salt into Scott. Ed raced home from work and Patrice laid rubber toward the closest Minit Mart to grab some salty food. (we are such a healthy house - I had no potato chips, saltine crackers - NOTHING) That will change!
Dr Bill continued to try to comfort me -- telling me it would be okay - it happens! NO FREAKING WAY! I SCREWED UP - AND SCOTT PAID THE PRICE! NOT FAIR- AND I PROMISE HIM IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!
By God's merciful grace, my sweet boy is still in my life and I will forever be grateful! It brought into focus what is important and what just does not matter any more!
Three weeks ago, Scott's repeated laments of how much longer until Christmas was getting on my last little nerve -- today - it is sweet music to my ears! The knowledge that he will be here for this Christmas is my greatest blessing and I hope I never get over being thankful!
posted by Joanne | 1:35 PM
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