NOT WITH MY CHILD - YOU DON'T!!

Anyone who is probably reading this entry knows that I am a "special" mom. Not by virtue of being anyone outstanding or noteworthy - but by membership in a society I did not choose. I belong to the motherhood of "special needs" children.

You have to be tough to belong. You have to be willing to "make waves" - make enemies - make people uncomfortable. Many mothers have walked away from this sorority. Leaving behind small lives that need fighters willing to speak up on their behalf. The child is not the biggest loser, however, the disappearing mother is the one who will lose out on a wonderful, loving opportunity.

I have often said -if you do not belong to this club, you do not have a clue about my life and the lives of other parents like me. Oh, you think you do... but it does not happen often.

Today at work, a gentleman, not far from my age, came in our store. I have known him for years. He is pure country and very set in his ways. The term "khaki pants" are not in his vocabulary! He wants Levis please!

This fellow was not alone of course. He attends a day center for DD folks. He was with other participants and several staff. (All women).

Somehow the fact that his staff were women always seems to make it worse. You expect more common sense from a mother figure --- you do not always get it.

Anyway, this gentleman was wearing blue denim pants (remember I said NO KHAKIS), that were 3-4 sizes too big! they were cinched up with a belt that lapped over several inches. That was not the worse part! The pants were urine stained in the front and "poo" stained up the back. (We are not talking Winnie here people!)

I was horrified. I spoke to 2 other special mothers. History has shown that the agency that was charged with caring for this guy did not take constructive criticism well - especially from me!

The bottom line from the 3 special moms was: call the day center and share concerns. I was very disappointed to hear the director say: "They knew about the pants - but he seldom wanted to go out and today was a nice day!" WHAT???"They knew??!!

What they additionally did not know, but I shared with HER, was that our children face many obstacles in life. They are prejudged for so many reasons by people who never take the time to know them. We special moms learn to ignore or confront, depending on your tactic, people who stare, point, snicker and ridicule our innocent children.

Allowing a 60 year old man to go out in the community in soiled denims - making him the fodder for pointing, snickering and nose holding is NEVER ACCEPTABLE and I do not give a tinkers' damn about the kind of day it is! (sorry)

Our fears as moms, is that someday, these same clueless people may be making decisions for our children and I do not want to ever have my son subjected to their callous behavior!

This man may, or may not, have family or friends in this community - it does not matter -- he is to be treated with the dignity I would give anyone. Would I send Scott out with "poopy" pants NO! Would I take myself out with feces stained pants? NO! So why would I approve of this gentleman being paraded around Montgomery County to a bevy of head shakes and nose holding. Shame!

Yes, I complained again! And guess what?? I will complain again and again until they get it! It is a matter of human dignity and respect for one another. This world would be a much nicer place if we could all just "get it!"