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Location: Clarksville, TN, United States

At this moment, I am a 60 year old lady living with a 61 year old husband of 41 years. I have a loving son, Scott, who is mentally challenged (aka mentally retarded), and a beautiful daughter, Dawn who lives near Boston with her husband and son. I never understood what all the hoopla was about being a grandparent - now I do! I am the poster child for the obnoxious old lady with photos in hand!

Monday, May 31, 2010

There are many ways to do battle!!

When we think of doing battle, we think of Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines!

There are many battle fields - and the largest one is not shown on any map. It is the field of life for families with children with disabilies.

There are so many - too many - disabilities our babies can face. Some have large footprints on society and are well known- CP or MS -Downs Syndrome. Many others are known but to families affected and the children who do battle every day.

As a family affected twice, (both my son and grandson have different but equally traumatic challenges), I know too well how your entire life changes when you are called in for "the talk".

Well meaning friends have said "God knew who to give this special child to - you handle it so well!" (They have not seen me sobbing on the bathroom floor - with the shower running to cover the sound of my tears!).

Besides, it makes me angry - "God gave me this child?" "God DID this to my child , my grandson"??? Why??? What could I have possibly done to deserve such heartache?? No! God did NOT "do" this. It happened. Plain and simple. Sometimes we do not get the answers. We just have to struggle with the problem as best we can.

My aunt once said "God allows such things so that he can send those who mistreat them straight to Hell". Sounds cruel - but I can buy into that one.

The battles of this life do not all happen on the battlefields like Valley Forge or Normandy. They can happen in the schools, the hospitals the amusement parks that hesitate to allow a child with a challenge to ride the roller coaster. They happen daily and will continue to happen.

Like freedom, if not guarded and protected - it can be taken away. Free and appropriate education did not exist until my son was 7. Until then, it was up to each school district to allow or deny education to a child with disabiities on a case by case basis. Can you imagine being told your child does not deserve an education - however limited! I can. I once had an eye specialist tell me he would not write a prescription for eyeglasses for my son. Oh Scott needed them. He would not deny that - but he said it would be a waste of money to put glasses on a retarded boy! He said -and I quote -"It's not like he is going to grow up and amount to anything - like be president!" What??? Not many of us would have glasses if being president was the determining factor!!

That was the spark that began my crusade for Scott's rights. My plea to the next generation of parents of children with challenges (Oh that there weren't a next generation of disabilites)- DO NOT LET DOWN YOUR GUARD - MAKE SURE YOUR OPTIONS ARE KEPT IN PLACE! NOTHING IS SAFE - NOTHING IS GUARANTEED! Parents - stay informed - be active! Be sure your political representatives, Federal, State and local know you are there and watching! Watch the budgets - when it comes to cutting services- small groups will be the first to go! Keep supporting strong support groups likeTHE ARC. They are a great oversight group that covers all needs. Remember the larger the numbers the louder the voice!

So I thank my husband for his years of service to our wonderful country- and I charge the next generation of parents to step up and demand more for our children - all our children.

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