Josspinningworld

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Location: Clarksville, TN, United States

At this moment, I am a 60 year old lady living with a 61 year old husband of 41 years. I have a loving son, Scott, who is mentally challenged (aka mentally retarded), and a beautiful daughter, Dawn who lives near Boston with her husband and son. I never understood what all the hoopla was about being a grandparent - now I do! I am the poster child for the obnoxious old lady with photos in hand!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Running with Scissors...

Some days, it feels as though we are running wild - dashing through obstacles while holding onto very sharp scissors - POINTS UP!  As children, we were warned -repeatedly - do not run while holding sharp objects- but unfortunately, no one ever told me how to put them down when you are going at a lightening clip!

I have often heard - while younger and life was slower and more manageable - "The older you get, the faster time goes by".  Now how is that possible?  We do not have individual speed cycles - like a washing machine! We are all twirling on this big blue marble together! Yet, I can attest with great experience as one of the "Older" ones now,  days do seem to zip by faster than they did when I was 10 or 20 even 30 or 40! I get up on Monday morning and suddenly it is Friday and I am at a loss as to how I blasted through 5 days with so little to show for it!  Bummer! (FYI, the weekends go even faster!)


My beloved grandson, Sawyer turned 5 in February! Five years old! About to enter Kindergarten in the fall! How is that possible?  It seems he just got here and yet I cannot fathom life without him.  As previously discussed on this jabberboard - Sawyer brought us into the world of Williams Syndrome.  A genetic disorder that was blissfully hidden in the clouds out of our line of vision until his diagnosis at age one. Now it is all too familiar to us.  He has grown and learned so much in the past 5 years. Mostly because of his dedicated parents who push and pull to get him every possible advantage toward a "normal" life.  Recently he had his annual cardiac evaluation. (Another gift from Williams).  Until now he had been blessed with minimal cardiac involvement - although we knew from brochures and other Williams' families that serious cardiac issues were possible. My mother was right:  IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

My daughter shared with me this week that at his checkup they found that his QTC line was elongated. Now here is a suggestion for everyone - save yourself some sleepless nights and do not look  up every malady on the Internet! There is some scary stuff out there.  The doc was not overtly concerned with this new quirk in Sawyer's cardiac health... no immediate new tests or rapid return trips to prevent any problems. Just the regular -"We'll follow him in a year" and oh yeah "Call us if he faints and we will get him in"... huh? I would  hope so! Sawyer is blissfully ignorant of  his new health development but my daughter has a new bruise on her heart and that kills me.

One of Dawn's friends asked me how did having a grandchild with Williams affect a grandmother. (She had wondered how her mother was affected). It is a double whammy!  Not only is the most precious gift you have ever received put under a cloud of fear - knowing your child is hurt in any way is almost unbearable. You can't hover - that could cause even more discomfort and anxiety - not mention your anxiety and you might come off as callous and cold hearted.  Every time one of the kids (Sawyer or Gwen) have an issue, I know my baby girl hurts in some way and I would rather be run over by a mack truck any day than have this layed at her door! She is hands down the best mother I have every seen! Purely unbiased opinion of course!

And what of Gwendolyn! Well, after Easter (Happy Easter by the way!!),  Gwen will have a birthday in a few weeks.  She is anxious to get this major holiday out of the way so she can take center stage and have "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GWEN!!" 

She has decided that "cooking " is her thing now and she delights in preparing pretend or playdough cupcakes and cookies or sandwiches! She goes to preschool now and gymnastics! She is so much like her mom it is scary! However, she could not have a better role model!  I pray she grows up to be just like her mom! (Her Daddy is no slouch either - so she has great genes to draw from!)

Our lives will take a turn later this summer as Ed prepares to retire - yeah I said the "r" word.  The month jumps around: May, no, maybe Oct -ah No, perhaps November... wait- Sept -definitely Sept.  We will see what that obstacle course brings!

So with Spring well upon us (Since February) and summer looming ahead - I look forward to spending time with Scott and his sister and Sawyer and Gwen!  I know too well that the days are coming when spending time with grampy and grammy will not be the thrilling adventure it is now for them. It will be tedious and boring and something they "HAVE" to do. Until then I will grab my scissors and run full tilt into the new days ahead and just pause long enough to say a short prayer of thanksgiving and trust God to hold Sawyer safely in his hand through these new experiences! 

God Bless!