HAPPY 41ST BIRTHDAY SCOTT!

There are some things that never change - the sun will rise in the East - and my son will want "Batman" for his birthday. I must make a mental note to do something different next year - I am tired of Batman!

I tried to change this year- I tried for weeks to think of a new venue - but Clarksville is limited in the places you can take a group out for lunch - let alone fine a fun day. Some one suggested "Chucky Cheese"! Not only did I cry "NO!" --- I believe it was "Hell NO!" (sorry)

I did the Chucky Cheese thing when my kids were young. We did not have one close to our home so we would drive 1- 1 1/2 hours to Concord Calif to the nearest Chuckie Cheese. At least they had the animated shows - which were kind of cool in a restaurant that served greasy pizza and luke warm soda. The best part was when my friend's son, John, who was about 7 years old and had Downs Syndrome, climbed into the tunnel and froze about half way. A line of kids were stuck behind him - and they began to wail! So "Daddy" John had to climb into the tunnel, where he pleaded, bribed, pulled and pushed to get his son to move on. Young John was having none of it - His mom, Joyce, (who was British) stood at the opening and would say in her clipped British accent - "John, come out now - what seems to be the problem?" "Daddy" John, who was now sweating and embarrassed and tired of the whole experience, bellowed back: "Your son won't move! - THAT"s the problem!!" Of course we had boo-hooing kids behind John who wanted out and because I was a casual observer - and my children were not actually contributing to this mess- I found it extremely funny! We did "uncork" John eventually,(both of them), and left shortly after that. At one point he told his mom - "Just one more trip down the tunnel"! "NO!" shouted both parents and we made a hasty retreat out the door.

Scott has had 3 birthday parties at Cici's Pizza Restaurant here in Clarksville. We invite a few of his friends and their staff to join us! They get salad and pizza and all the beverages they can muster. They sing "Happy Birthday " and Scott is in heaven. Lately, he thinks if he can get lunch at Cici's, he gets to have a birthday party. I finally had to tell his PA to avoid Cici's for a while until he gets over the Birthday thing. Unfortunately, he will "move on" to Christmas. I think the best part of Cici's is their staff. We are seated anywhere we want to sit. That may not seem special to those who have never approached a restaurant at noon - with a bevy of wheelchairs, crutches and folks with a variety of disabilites. We sat in the middle of a room of average folks and the staff at Cici's were great! They never rolled their eyes or acted upset at dropped food or loud voices! In fact, they joined in for the singing of Happy Birthday and encouraged the other "eaters" to do so too! Now, THAT is "inclusion" in its purest form!

One of Scott's greatest thrills for his birthday is the arrival of special guests! We made the invitations on Shutterfly and sent them out. I asked "who" he wanted to invite and his first answer was "Carol". Carol was his helper when he was in the workshop. They were buddies for several years. She quit her job for another better paying one but has always stayed in touch with Scott. When Scott had his open heart surgery, she came to Nashville and sat with our family in the waiting room. She was one of the first people to see him in the CCU. He loves Carol.

I was not sure if Carol could come this year. She works for Metalpha (Bridgestone), and I was not sure her schedule would allow it. She switched schedules and pulled an over night shift so she could be there. Bless her heart, she was so tired and yet she came. When Scott saw her walking across the parking lot into the restaurant, he literally lit up from inside. When she did get in, he stood up and ran to her - saying "Carol! Carol!" It was hugs all around.

I am glad his current PA has a big heart and understands that Scott does not love Carol more than he loves her. It is just that when he "loves", he loves with all his heart. Sometimes, it is as if his body is not big enough to hold all the love he has for persons who have garnered a special place in his life.

As the parent of a special child, it refreshes my soul to see special people like Patrice (Scott's current PA), and Carol, who work in a field that is grossly underpaid and get little respect for the hard work they assume when they work with individuals with intellectual disabilities (M/R). When you have a child who may not be able to tell you if something bad happened to them, or if a staff person may be less than kind, it really restores your faith in mankind to find a Carol or Patrice in your world.

So Scott had another great birthday! He got to eat Pizza, (Macaroni & Cheese Pizza at that!), cokes and birthday cake! He received many great gifts and saw lots of his family and friends.

41 years ago, Scott came into my world in a scary, unexpected way. He was not due until Oct 15th. I was young, inexperienced and alone at the time. (Ed was on deployment and was sitting at Midway Island when Scott was born.) A tiny 3 lb 2 1/2 oz little guy who fought hard to stay with us and I am so thankful he did.

Happy Birthday Scott - I do love you - everyday - but especially today!

In the coming days, you will probably hear much about a new movie that will be put into general release on 13 August. The movie is already advertising on TV. It is titled, "Tropic Thunder". With Ben Stiller, Jack Black etc., it is probably going to be a "teeny bopper" hit.

You may also see a protest of special significance outside of theaters showing this film. You see, this film is highly offensive to persons with disabilities . . . especially those with mental retardation or similar disabilities.

"Simple Jack" is featured as a film-within-the film, with Ben Stiller portraying a "retard" with a classic institutional bowl haircut and bad teeth. The film's promotional poster bears the subtitle "Once Upon a Time there was a Retard".

The scary thing is, the individuals to whom this film will be targeted, are our young generation who we desperately hope will be more accepting and knowledgeable about their peers who may appear or act differently. It is so very WRONG to, in any way, put forth the idea that it is socially acceptable or FUNNY to ridicule a person because they may not be as quick or able as the student next to them on the bus.

As the mother of a nearly 41 year old son with mental retardation, I have a problem with the word "Retard". Not the clinical diagnosis "Mental retardation" - but when I hear an otherwise intelligent, sensitive person use the word "Retard" as a noun - to mean - "God! You are so stupid!" - I cringe inside. It is degrading, insulting and very insensitive.

Most people today are more accepting of persons with disabilities - most people realize that all children deserve an education to the best of their abilities - most people would not think of denying another person medical care to insure they are healthy, protected and free from pain.

It has not always been so. I think of my friend, Katherine Rudolph who had a son in the early 1950s with Downs Syndrome. College educated, she knew nothing about Downs. She drove from Tennessee to Boston to see a specialist in DS. That "doctor" told her there was no hope - to put him away in an institution and "not get attached". Miss Katie was indignant! What? Not love and care for her child? Incredulous! She informed that doctor in Boston it was much to late for that as she had loved that child from the hour he was conceived - and would continue to love him until God took him home.

She returned to Tennessee where she fought for education (PL 94-142)and Social Security Benefits to include medical care for persons with special needs. Her last words to me was "The job is not done - never, never give up!"

This movie is a huge backstep for social awareness in this country. Produced by Dreamworks and distributed by Paramount - this film would never have been considered if it defamed any other social minority. The thought that the decision makers in those companies thought this was an acceptable concept to promote to our youth is pathetic. Yes, I KNOW this is a movie - , but how often do young people leave a theater and quote the "tag lines" for months -- "E.T. Phone Home" - (remember that one?)

Unfortunately,we are all influenced by the media - some more than others. It is sad to me that the actors involved felt this was okay to do - that it was funny.

When my child becomes the target of someone who has seen this film and they decide to make him the object of the "retard" jokes in this movie- I will fail to see the humor. I may walk the picket line outside our local theater - I do not know yet - but letters will be written by me- and hopefully by you - alerting the world that this negative image of persons with disabilities is not acceptable and will not be tolerated!

EBAY-MANIA

Some people will buy -- or sell anything! We try to keep the prices low in our little charity thrift store. We are small and do not have a lot of storage space. Also, people expect low prices in thrift stores. Unless you are shopping in "Goodwill Stores" where the prices are God-Awful high!(But that is a story for another day!)

Also, there are certain items we just do not feel comfortable selling in the store - machine guns, do it yourself lobotomy kits ... no, no, just kidding. No guns, no medical stuff. However, we do sometimes get racy underwear etc that we would rather not see the local "cross dressers" trying on! For real!

We do put items on Ebay that we know will sell for more money than we can ask in our store. We are the grateful recipients of home improvement supplies from the 2 major home improvement stores here in town. While we do mark the items down to approximately 1/3 of their original cost, customers still groan and tell us "we are a thrift store and the price is high!"

To eliminate that, we sometimes revert to EBAY. This past week, I sold an old, uncared for trumpet -- I was thrilled to get over $600 for it!Woo-Hoo! In our store, we could not have gotten over $50.

I am beginning to learn the hot brand names as well, FUBU, JUICY, SEAN JOHN etc.

Back to the cross dressing thing... I have learned that if we put sexy lingerie - especially larger sizes - on EBAY- some guy will buy it! Naive me !! I assumed at first that all these guys were surprizing their wives with a special gift from Victoria Secret! Well, I have been enlightened! I was wrong!

One of our local friends told me that the guys who bought those clothes were probably gay or cross dressers. (Buy online - no questions, no stares, no disapproving grunts!)Okay - that's cool with me - as long as their payment is good and I do not have to watch - they can wear all the red lace teddies they want!

Not sure how long this EBAY thing will last - they have become very un-friendly to sellers. Feedback is a big deal - and now buyers can leave negative feedback - but sellers can't. How fair is that? People jump on Ebay - bid and then disappear into the night. We always try to be overly honest about the condition of an item - lots of pictures. We pack items very carefully and still you can be burned by a person who spent too much money for something they probably did not need.

Enough ranting! We just got home from the dentist. Ed and I finished last week with our semi-annual checkups and today was Scott's turn...Oh how I dread that.

First of all, I hate dentists. (No offense Dr Lynn & Dr Andrew) - I had very bad experiences as a child and now I shake like a leave in a hurricane to go into a dentist office.

Armed with promises of bookstores and lunch out- we headed out. I had gotten about 1 mile from home when I realized to my horror that we had not brushed teeth!Nooooooo! Not acceptable! Pulled U-Turn in the middle of 41 A and back to the house we ran. Raced through the front door- ran to bathroom and got the brushing accomplished and set out again for a 10:15 appointment.

Scott did really well with the cleaning exam with a few verbal reminders to open wide- and "Open really wide like a bookstore mouth!" Well, that confuses the doc, but bribery is not beyond my character.

My fears were realized when they found one filling was loose and will have to be replaced - and another tooth was chipped and will have to be ground down a little to make it smooth.

FLOP SWEAT - get the picture? It is bad enough when it is me - but I hate for it to be Scottie! I will go with him and stand next to him and give verbal cues as what he needs to do. He will come out of the dental chair all patched up and happy to leave - and I will be soaked to the skin in nervous "flop sweat!" I will feel every prick and every grind of the equipment. Every muscle in me will be in spasm until he is done for another 6 months.

Scott may forget the experience but I will pile it up on my dental stack of memories to add to my terror the next time I go in to see the dentist.

With all of Scott's medical problems - and the myriad of medications he must take, there is not a lot they can do - for him - maybe they can slip ME something for the anxiety!