Honey Mustard or Ranch?

My husband has developed a thing  for salad dressings. . . especially Honey Mustard. (If you want to get specific, he loves O'Charley's Honey Mustard!)
I, on the other hand, love ranch. It's good on salads, great for dipping veggies and hey- makes a great mixer for chip dip!

While I do not care what salad dressing you use . . . Ed does. He is specifically concerned what I eat and what I offer Scott.

Scott loves ranch dip with fresh veggies - he would eat boundless amounts of it! Of course, being on Coumadin, he has his restrictions. He likes the ranch on his salad as well and I usually humor  him with it.

Each and every time lately, when Ed sees me grab the Ranch bottle he begins his tyriad on "why not give Scott some honey mustard - he would like it".

It has become a contest of sorts - who gets to the salad first.

It has me thinking today that how we treat our special needs children is the same sort of pidgeon-holing.  They must behave this way - or they would never like to do that!

Why -or - why not? Why do we assume any behavior is a result of their "Syndrome" or medical labels. That person has Downs so they have to be friendly - that person is autistic so they do not want to be touched. Huh? Is that not a little narrow minded? 

It is today's proper protocol to put the "people first". It is not correct to say a mentally retarded person, it is a person with mental retardation - if you HAVE to use the "R" word. 

I think too often we look for reasons when there just aren't any.  You like something or you don't! No real reason why I choose Ranch over Honey Mustard - I just prefer Ranch. 

If Scott or Sawyer were to be so selective in their food choices - professionals might say it is a marker for their specific problems. Odds are - they are like me - they just like the taste of one over the other - no real reason.

I used to love Bing cherries until I was about 8 years old. I spent one whole afternoon sitting in a huge cherry tree in my Uncle Joe's backyard with my cousins - eating Bing cherries - ALL AFTERNOON! When my uncle pulled into the driveway and saw us covered with cherry juice - we scrambled! By the time I got home- I was not feeling well and paid the price for all that Cherry eating for the next day. To this day, I can eat cherries but do not really love them any more. Just a taste and I am done!

I guess where I intended to go with this food parable was to say we should not label or prejudge what ANYONE can do or would be interested in doing because of their dna or medical labels. People without arms can surf, people without feet can run a marathon - the only limits anyone has are those we inflict on them. In being protective, we shelter those we love from the thrill of trying new things.  It is hard to take our hands off and let our loved ones fly - but the look of happiness when they soar is worth the butterflies we have in our tummies when they leap!

It's time for dinner - the salads are ready - and there are several bottles of salad dressing on the table- tonight Scott can pick his own!

Bittersweet day

Tomorrow will be a bittersweet day ... one I have looked forward to, yet now that the time has come, I am not so anxious to see it arrive.



I am leaving the ARC Thrift Store. Counting the several "Super Sales" that preceeded the actual opening of the thrift store in 1996, I have been begging for cast-offs and organizing used socks for 20 years! TWENTY YEARS!!

Several things went into my decision to call it quits - I am old - older some days than others - my "parts" give me pain after a day of hauling bags to the trash or dragging boxes into the closets.

Even in a down economy - our bottom line often turns "pink" - not quite red ink, but darned close some months. The stress of worrying over bills paid or not - gifts given or postponed - has had me up many a sleepless night.

So I decided to turn the day to day operation over to someone else. I must say it is sort of like taking your child to college! How will they be treated? Will they value my baby? Will Mr. Roosevelt and Ms Barbara get their hugs when they come in and will they remember to save flowers for Becky or hat pins for Steve?

Who will listen to Ms Betty's lab results and encourage her to continue chemo? Who will call Ms Pat to check on her shingles? Who will take Barbara out to eat for Christmas?

Who will bouy my spirits when Sawyer has a bad day? Or when I am missing Dawn? Who will I share my pictures of the two cutest grandchildren in the world with after I leave?

When Scott had his heart surgery and when we learned of Sawyer's Williams Syndrome - it was our customers who held my hand and gave me the courage to face the next obstacle. They prayed with me, cried with me and had far more faith in my ability to survive another heartbreak than I did.

I guess I will miss my friends - my safe zone. To any and all who may see this - Thank you ARC Thrift Store - you will be missed by me but not forgotten - and to those who remain - you had best do a good job - be kind to my buddies - and as Ms Katie told me many years ago -NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP! " I love you all!!

Another busy holiday season survived!!

"Over the hills and through the woods to grandmother's house we go...."

It seemed like a simple thing when I read about this in the Laura Ingalls Wilder books like Little House in the Big Woods" or "Little House on the Praire". The family all loaded up in the wagon, with a quilt that Ma had made, maybe a ham and a jar of jelly or two - but no real big plan - other than getting there without being scalped or eaten by the occasional bear.

This year Dawn, Greg and kiddies came early, (Dec 14th) and we planned an early Christmas in TN. The only drawback was to actually be READY by Dec 14th!

While others were gently planning future holiday events - I was breaking into a dead sweat about OMG (!) I am totally out of time to clean, bake, shop, wrap (the worse of these is WRAP! I hate to wrap and would totally go with gift bags 100% - BUT my family is a family of peepers and nothing would be a surprise at Christmas with bags!)

I did manage to get most of my "to do" list accomplished and I do not think anyone missed the forgotten items!

The tree

was assembled the Friday after Thanksgiving! Scott was thrilled! Never before had he won the battle of getting the tree up so early! he thought things were really going his way...little did he know!

We had a busy week of preparing for our faux Christmas! More shopping - more cooking -which meant more eating! We made our must-do visit to Raffertys and as usual the kids were thrilled with the potato soup! (Me too!!)

We decided to make Fri Dec 17th our early Christmas so that the kids could enjoy playing with their gifts! Playing with the toys I have here probably was boring and it was much too cold to go outside to play! Gwen's major project was to undecorate grammy's tree!

and I have to say...she did a bang up job of it! The only casualty was "Lucy's" head off one of my Peanuts ornaments - but a little glue fixed that!

We actually had to break down the gift opening in a couple different sessions as it was a little over-whelming. Everytime there was more than 2 people in the living room - Scott ran in and sat down - just in case presents were to be forthcoming!

This was truly a "Toy Story" holiday as the main players were "Buzz", "Woody" and "Jessie". (Characters in the Toy Story movies for those who do not have children under 10). Sawyer preferred that Woody not wear a hat (his preference as well for himself) - but Gwen demanded that Jessie have hers on at all times!

Scott did get his alloted share of the goodies as well - but it was hard to make him understand that this was not the "real" Christmas - and we would do this all again on December 25th ...GOOD GRIEF! WHAT WERE WE THINKING??!! WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH ONE CELEBRATION - HE REALLY WOULD NOT HAVE KNOWN THE DIFFERENCE!

But we didn't- so he actually got a few things held back and just had to make do with the dozen or so DVDs he received on Christmas #1.

Some of the fun events we did get to do together though was to visit Chucky Cheese.. merciful heavens - did I actually say that? I used "fun" and "Chucky Cheese" in the same sentence? Another brain cell just died.

Anyway.. we did go and it was fun. Little ones make it fun! Gwen and Sawyer got to ride the mechanical horse

which I am sure was probably pretty lame to Sawyer who takes hippo-therapy and rides the real horses at home.

Gwen's big thing was putting the coin in the games (any game will do but she preferred ski-ball) and then ripping off the tickets! She had acquired a fistfull of tickets before we realized she had also been taking the tickets of other game players - who were too kind to chase the little pint size kleptomaniac and recover their game tickets! Dawn wandered down the row of game players handing out tickets and saying "I am so sorry"!

Sawyer found Grampy to be a willing "horsey" at home and loved to get him down on the ground for a friendly romp!

We went down to the river to see the light display and although it was bitter cold, it was fun to see the pretty lights and watch Gwen and Sawyer react to the other people and DOGS that walked by. As we often wonder how much Sawyer is actually understanding about what we say, it was interesting that at one point Ed asked me what our plan was and how far were we going to walk. I casually responded that when we got tired we would be done. I did not think about Sawyer actually listening as we walked along but he threw his hands up in the air and as he turned around he said "I'm tired and I'm done!" I giggled as I walked back to the car as our very astute little grandson -once again - has proven to me that we cannot underestimate what is going on in his smart little mind!

Probably one of the best parts of the holidays was being able to come together as a family in Elkton with Ed's family. Dawn had made her Aunt Lucille a 50th anniversary quilt - which was a great surprise for Lucille. Even better was watching the next generation of cousins meeting and playing together.

Yes, our holidays were a little different - and yet the basics were the same- love of family -joy in the love of children. For what better time to wrap yourself in the joy of a child than at Christmas - a celebration of the Christ child.

May 2011 be a blessed year for all - hopefully a year that mends old wounds, heals broken hearts and brings happiness to those who ache. God Bless

Open letter to K-Mart and other sales sources!

It is the holiday season - shopping season - stress season!

We make a list, check it several times and head out to the brick and mortar stores or plop down in front of the monitor and order on line....

It has been almost 3 weeks of waiting and wondering if my holiday order would come in from one of the "Marts".... I have come to the conclusion - "No! It won't"!

Let me make a generalization for most shopping arenas - do not play me- (or other shoppers). Be honest! If you do not have it, say so!! Just be up front and honest!

Is it so hard to say,"I'm so sorry, that is a popular item and we have sold out! I would be glad to assist you with similar items if you like..." Please do not string me along with "Your order is being processed - you should have it in 5-7 days" . Maybe in 5-7 Neptune days - but not in Earth days!!

Even to a trusting sole like myself - it will soon become apparent that the items just aren't coming! You don't have them (if you ever did) - and I am not going to have them either. So give me my money back - smile and wish me a Merry Christmas as I trudge off to find my holiday spirit elsewhere!

Here is my gift to you Mr. Businessman: Be honest quickly, tap dancing around the issue will not make you look better!

Oh- and Merry Christmas!

Shopping Horrors!

Ho Ho Ho! We are in the midst of the Christmas countdown and I was feeling rather cocky... and thus comes my "come-uppance"!  Pride goes before a fall and all that stuff!

I had done the majority of my shopping online... "Priding" myself with online coupons, free shipping and major discounts!  Then the second shoe drops! And wham! I am going to be forced into the brick and mortar stores after all!

You see I ordered several toys for great nieces and nephews, etc. Nothing extraordinary but necessary to cross their names off my lengthy list! (Again puffing out my chest in making such super selections in such an easy manner!)

Then I began to realize that nothing had been delivered. NADA! ZIP!

Sooooo, I began to scan my emails... where were these non-delivered items? Today I received an email from K-Mart- it seems they decided to cancel -CANCEL- my first order- completely - everything gone! (Do I hear the disappointed gasps from small tots having the Toy Story figures ripped away?)

Not wanting to deal with emails and stupid buttons, I opted to call the 800 number.  Amy was very friendly and almost as shocked as I was to see the holiday happiness disappear into the nether regions of the internet!  She volunteered to reorder (Nope she could not see any reason my order was dumped either - but I was beginning to feel a little hurt mixed in with my anger!) She is going to "expedite" my reorder and give me free rush shipping... we'll see!

Upon further review, I find my Shutterfly order was split and only half delivered and the other half -according to them - also delivered - but I know better! It is not here!  So "Linda" also known as Ajdon, is reordering and assures me it will be here ...sometime!

Ah but wait, it gets better.  Going down the list of orders, I check out Sears. This should be easy - Ed only wanted one thing... which I now see by this ignored email has been shipped to....wait for it..... SAWYER IN MASS.

Yup- my 3 year old grandson will  soon be the owner of a massive battery operated Craftsman skill saw....

I can see the shock and awe on Greg's face now as little Sawyer opens THAT box! =-P

Could there possibly be more... Yup!  Yet another order was split and one item shipped and the other....well, we may never know!!

So on Friday, instead of doing all the catch up things I had planned to do, I will dash to Walmart and replace all the goodies that are floating through the postal neverland.... I am going to the doctor tomorrow to see if they really do make a pacifier out of valium!

While Scott is happily counting the days to Christmas - I will be slowly sucking my way into a calmer holiday!

STILL AROUND AND STILL KICKING!

What a hot sultry summer! A real Tennessee Williams sort of summer! If I were a drinking sort of person - I think I might ask for a "mint julip"!!

How far back do I have to go to pick up the memorable parts of our summer? I suppose I should start with April when we met Dawn and her family in Florida... Ah! Beautiful Florida! Sawyer loves the water - any water!  He showed no fear of the ocean and marched into the waves like a trooper - of course he held the hand of his Grampy or his Daddy - but he went!  Gwen,  on the other hand, loved the sand -(filling buckets with it or eating it- she loved it!) - but she did not want ANY PART of the ocean! Nope! She would raise those chubby legs and squeal if you tried to put her in the water.

We did not have a big plan when we went to Florida - We ate, we went to the beach - ate some more - went to the pool - back to the condo for more food! It was a fun week in the sun!

But every vacation has to end - and we had to come home too.  We (Ed and I ) have come to the conclusion that even driving to the panhandle is not a straight through drive any more! Guess our sitting time is getting shorter as well!

Looking back at the Florida pictures makes me all too aware of how fast the kids are growing- Sawyer left his baby-ways long ago! He is a big "school boy" now!  (more later) Gwen was just in the "pulling up" stage when we were in FL. but she came walking into TN in July!  Even the week she was here she increased the walking ability. Of course that means she can reach more and get there faster!!

Scott has adapted well to the babies not being babies!  They seem interested in what "Uncle Scott" has in his room! He has the cool stuff - DVDs, noisy cars etc!  Scott is in his glory now - as it is August and his birthday is approaching! It is the first thing he reminds us of each morning and his last thoughts at night! It won't be fancy or large - but it is his birthday - and there will be cake so he will be pleased!!

When Dawn was here for the 4th of July - we spent a fun filled week searching all the hot spots for the the little ones! Hopkinsville has an awesome water park - slides, sprays and zero entry for the little guys!

Sawyer and Gwen check out all the water fun and we had a great day following them as they explored the water park! Highly recommend Tie Breaker to anyone in the Hopkinsville area!

I have been fighting with our computer for a few weeks - Ed decided to add "g-mail" to our account and now it over-rides my primary email! It refuses to allow me to visit Maria's website and I miss seeing how her girls are growing! I have tried to override it- exit the account and lots of other options. I am considering the "sledge hammer" approach!  =-)

Sawyer will start his summer vacation from pre-school on Aug 12 (our schools in Clarksville are already back in session!!). We will fly to visit them before he goes back to school in Sept. They seem to get bigger and learn new things everyday! I love to see the sparkle in their eyes and the giggles as they think they have tricked the "big people" into doing things their way - such power in such little hands! 

There are many ways to do battle!!

When we think of doing battle, we think of Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines!

There are many battle fields - and the largest one is not shown on any map. It is the field of life for families with children with disabilies.

There are so many - too many - disabilities our babies can face. Some have large footprints on society and are well known- CP or MS -Downs Syndrome. Many others are known but to families affected and the children who do battle every day.

As a family affected twice, (both my son and grandson have different but equally traumatic challenges), I know too well how your entire life changes when you are called in for "the talk".

Well meaning friends have said "God knew who to give this special child to - you handle it so well!" (They have not seen me sobbing on the bathroom floor - with the shower running to cover the sound of my tears!).

Besides, it makes me angry - "God gave me this child?" "God DID this to my child , my grandson"??? Why??? What could I have possibly done to deserve such heartache?? No! God did NOT "do" this. It happened. Plain and simple. Sometimes we do not get the answers. We just have to struggle with the problem as best we can.

My aunt once said "God allows such things so that he can send those who mistreat them straight to Hell". Sounds cruel - but I can buy into that one.

The battles of this life do not all happen on the battlefields like Valley Forge or Normandy. They can happen in the schools, the hospitals the amusement parks that hesitate to allow a child with a challenge to ride the roller coaster. They happen daily and will continue to happen.

Like freedom, if not guarded and protected - it can be taken away. Free and appropriate education did not exist until my son was 7. Until then, it was up to each school district to allow or deny education to a child with disabiities on a case by case basis. Can you imagine being told your child does not deserve an education - however limited! I can. I once had an eye specialist tell me he would not write a prescription for eyeglasses for my son. Oh Scott needed them. He would not deny that - but he said it would be a waste of money to put glasses on a retarded boy! He said -and I quote -"It's not like he is going to grow up and amount to anything - like be president!" What??? Not many of us would have glasses if being president was the determining factor!!

That was the spark that began my crusade for Scott's rights. My plea to the next generation of parents of children with challenges (Oh that there weren't a next generation of disabilites)- DO NOT LET DOWN YOUR GUARD - MAKE SURE YOUR OPTIONS ARE KEPT IN PLACE! NOTHING IS SAFE - NOTHING IS GUARANTEED! Parents - stay informed - be active! Be sure your political representatives, Federal, State and local know you are there and watching! Watch the budgets - when it comes to cutting services- small groups will be the first to go! Keep supporting strong support groups likeTHE ARC. They are a great oversight group that covers all needs. Remember the larger the numbers the louder the voice!

So I thank my husband for his years of service to our wonderful country- and I charge the next generation of parents to step up and demand more for our children - all our children.