COINCIDENCE OR DIVINE GUIDANCE?

Things happen. We all know that. Why do they happen? That is a question we all ask - usually we say -- "why does this always happen to me?" We tend to question the bad rather than the good. The consequences are equally amazing - but we do not question when we are wonderfully blessed - only when our worlds are shaken to the core.

My world got one of those shakes this morning.

To bring you up to date - my son, Scott, has had an abrasion on the bridge of his nose since mid-October. It was caused by the mask of his C-Pap machine that he uses for sleep apnea. It has occurred before- and it healed. This time it was being very stubborn and our physician referred him to a dermatologist.

The doc briefly looked at his nose and said it would heal - is healing - use antibiotic cream - leave it alone.

Okay. Then he wanted to check out the lesion on his head... The doc made reference to the referral of our primary care doc and I was confused. Nothing had been said about checking out his scalp - and our doc does not send us off on blind referrals.

Long story short - he was in the wrong room with the wrong patient! BUT- Scott did have a small lesion on his scalp - which the doc wanted to biopsy---. I was annoyed - sloppy office management that he was talking to the wrong patient. The biopsy was done however.

Flash forward to this morning. We are in the midst of an ice storm. Schools closed - power lines are going down (not before I finish this I hope!) Then I get the phone call.

CANCER

A word not used casually. A word not used with my child. (Okay he will be 42 in August, but he is my baby).

I listened to big words - Latin words that held nothing but fear and nausea in the pit of my stomach. I remember "Premedication", local anesthesia, blood, tension---. Fear. Denial. No!

I asked if I could stay with him through procedure. That is the only way he will tolerate it awake. Permission granted.

Date for procedure has not been set. - It seems the derm doc is national guard and will gone from March-July for duty with our troops. They will try to get Scott in before he leaves.

So you be the judge - coincidence or Divine intervention - Scott gets a sore that does not heal- sent to specialist who walks in the wrong room and examines him for something we did not know he had -because the doc thought he was looking at Mr Cook. Initially, I was furious. Now, humbled and fearful - I am thankful for that mistake.

I know which answer I pick - I know who has shielded my family and given them the strength they need through dark days.

I ask for your prayers for Scott in the upcoming days. He has already picked up on my anxiety. So I have to go into the normal "happy" me. Not easy at this point. Unasked prayers have brought him to this "solution" and prayers will bring us all through it!

HO-HO-HOLIDAY!

Christmas by its very definition is a time of birth, hope and good tidings for all!

I hope most people had a day of love - family and good memories. I do not say ALL people for I know that is not possible. Unfortunately, Christmas is a sad, depressing time for many people. Suicides climb and hospitals explode with people who use them for a place of refuge. Maybe we can all remember to be a little more caring of others next year - but probably not. We get way too wrapped up in our own little worlds to remember that no matter how hectic our lives are - how over come we are with all the little details we must finish before December 25th, in general, we are pretty darned blessed! At least I am !!

I had wonderful parents and extended family. Out of all the losers in the world, I managed to meet and marry a real winner. My son is my soul, my gauge as to the importance of life's little warts in comparison to what is really important.

My daughter is my guiding light! My pride and my spirit! She is an inspiration to me every day. I do not know how I was so lucky to have such a blessing in my life - and I do not take it for granted for one minute!

That brings me to my precious little Sawyer! Our little human dynamo! He is love personified!

We were thrilled to have Dawn and Greg (another blessing in our lives) come be with us for a week during Christmas. There was lots of eating, talking, visiting - all the things that make Christmas special.

Sawyer was pretty good about not destroying the tree - of course Grampy had nailed it to the floor...

After all the problems Sawyer has had with eating- reflux etc. he seems to have mastered the feat. He eats constantly! Pancakes, pizza, biscuits, potato soup, gold fish, chocolate- anything chocolate! ( I think he got that from me!)

I have bumps in the Christmas season - mostly people I miss from holidays past. I try to remember that those were good times I can't bring back and then concentrate on the good things I do have right now! I would hate to cloud over the wonderful memories we are creating now with dark thoughts of missing what I used to have. How can you not love a sloppy hug from a 2 foot tall dynamo who fell in love with Hallmark singing snowmen?

Yes Christmas 2008 was good! It was exhausting at times but in such a good way! Next year our joy will grow as we get to "shop PINK" for the little girl that will join our family in April. I get to shop for fancy dresses and baby dolls and of course, balls! Sawyer loves balls!

Just think only 355 days to go-- and we can do it all over again!! God Bless!