SHAKEN FAMILY VALUES

It has been an unsettling, (to say the least), week in Clarksville Tennessee this week. After a year of family turmoil, fears, successes and overwhelming bliss at Sawyer's progress, my faith in humanity was shaken this week by the actions of strangers and neighbors.

Early this week, it was hot! By mid afternoon it was in the mid to high 90s. Factor in the glorious southern humidity- and you can imagine how sweltering it was. It appears that a young mother, age 24, decided that a cool beer would be a refreshing addition to her day. So she drove to a bar, parked her car behind the bar in the shade (how considerate she was!)and went inside. Up until now, you probably think- so what is wrong with that? Has Joanne gone totally ballistic over drinking again?! Well, when she parked that car, she left her 3 month old daughter in the back seat! For 6 hours! 6 LONG, STEAMING HOURS!!

Patrons of the "Yes Dear" Bar say she repeatedly went in and out- but they had no clue her baby was outside in the car! At one point she got into a second car with a friend and went to ANOTHER bar!(leaving her baby unattended in the car parked behind the bar).

When the car was discovered by an employee of the adjacent business, police were called - but by now it was 5 PM and the baby ... was...DEAD. Body temp of 103.8. DEAD.

On the news that night they interviewed the bartender who said -"But she was such a good mother..." What? How could they say that? Tiny little helpless child, 3 months old - what could that mother have possibly done that was so good that it overrode the horrendous act of abandoning that child to go "get a cold one!"

Our community grieves for that baby - there is nothing we can do now to make little Faith's life better. Her suffering ended that afternoon in that oven of a car. She rests in the arms of God and is loved now - it is a pity she could not have been more treasured on Earth.

As if that is not enough for a community to absorb. Two days later, we, Clarksvillians, were greeted with the news that a local, church going family was arrested for (1)child abuse, (2) child rape (3) aggravated child abuse and rape. The persons arrested were the foster/adoptive parents of 5 children and the oldest adopted child of that family - a 20 year old daughter. Oddly enough it is the mother and sister who are charged with the "rape with an object" charge. The father is "only charged with "abuse". (almost makes him sound like the "good guy" in this local soap opera!).

I know this family. Oddly enough. Not personally, but as a frequent customer of our little charity thrift store. Sugar would not melt in this woman's mouth. She frequently talked of her church and all the activities she was involved with in that church. The oldest daughter - the one charged with rape etc. was often with her. She seldom spoke, a very very quiet young lady -(20 years old now). Now, here is something I am struggling with. The parents are black. The oldest daughter, Elizabeth, is white. They, supposedly, adopted her as a newborn. That would make it the late 80s. While I, personally, do not have any problem with racially blended families, I struggle to understand how DCS placed a white NEWBORN, blond hair, blue eyed baby girl with a local black family for adoption in 1988.

Anyone who is trying to adopt knows newborn babies are at a premium. Very hard to get a newborn baby who is in the legal system. Twenty years ago in the south - placing a white baby (6 weeks) with a black family - however wonderful they may be? unheard of!

I thought I might be over reaching here and talked to a friend this morning who is married to a black man and they have two beautiful daughters in their early 20s. I asked her if I was wrong about this being unusual in the 80s. She, too, thought it very unusual. She told me that when she and her husband traveled together, in the 1970s and 80s, one would go in and order food to go and they would leave. She said many restaurants in the South simply would not serve a black man with a white woman. She said they didn't want to break through any "color" barriers, they simply wanted to eat and it was not always an easy task in the South. Thankfully, that has improved but it has taken many years to get here.

The Perry's church put up $45,000 to get them out of jail. Lots of controversy over that. Many folks are saying "innocent until proven guilty". Others say, "Not so quick to come into the community when you are charged with child abuse & child rape". Many are saying it was an abuse of church donations to use it for bail money.

Coming on the heels of little Faith's death in that hot car, most are concerned about the safety of all children in our community. We cannot sit back and wait for someone else to act when it comes to child safety. The days of not acting or not wanting to be involved in what may be a long and complicated court case are over. Cain asked God, " Am I my brother's Keeper". The answer is "YES". We are accountable for what we know and how we act on that knowledge. We are charged to be compassionate, caring for one another. Giving a stranger a smile and a simple "good Morning" - could change the day for that person. It just might change their attitude and the direction of their day. We all need to be noticed - acknowledged and valued. We each need to make a difference in the lives we touch!

On a happier note - next week we get to "touch" those we love with a quick trip to MA to visit Dawn and her family. Scott is really getting excited about the plane trip! Every time he sees a plane on TV he says - "DAWN" -quickly followed by "and Greg". Of course, we get to see our precious little warrior, Sawyer. Dawn tells us he has become a champion stair climber! Last week when they SKYPED us, we heard Sawyer tell us "ALL DONE"! Such a sweet little voice - liquid love!

So in the midst of hellish acts locally, we find a beam of light ahead with family visits. Children are such blessings - treasures - and they grow up and march off into their own lives so quickly. Treasure them today while they are young enough not be embarrassed by hugs and kisses from mom and dad! God Bless!